God Fucks

cls
@ECHO OFF
title Folder Locker
if EXIST "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}" goto UNLOCK
if NOT EXIST Locker goto MDLOCKER
:CONFIRM
echo Are you sure u want to Lock the folder(Y/N)
set/p "cho=>"
if %cho%==Y goto LOCK
if %cho%==y goto LOCK
if %cho%==n goto END
if %cho%==N goto END
echo Invalid choice.
goto CONFIRM
:LOCK
ren Locker "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
attrib +h +s "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
echo Folder locked
goto End
:UNLOCK
echo Enter password to Unlock folder
set/p "pass=>"
if NOT %pass%==type your password here goto FAIL
attrib -h -s "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}"
ren "Control Panel.{21EC2020-3AEA-1069-A2DD-08002B30309D}" Locker
echo Folder Unlocked successfully
goto End
:FAIL
echo Invalid password
goto end
:MDLOCKER
md Locker
echo Locker created successfully
goto End
:End

Strange Sex Laws

1. In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
2. In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.
3. Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.
4. The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
5. There are men in Guam whose full time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.
6. In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.
7. Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.
8. In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.
9. In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.
10. In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises."


Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

if, Human - enjoy = Donkey + work

In other words,
Human who don’t enjoy = Do Donkey work


Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money

If Men - earn money = Donkeys

In other words,
Men that don’t earn money = Donkeys
Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep

Therefore, Women = Donkeys + spend

If, Women - spend = Donkeys

In other words,
Women that don’t spend = Donkeys


To Conclude:

Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys!

Women spend not to let men become Donkeys!

Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys!
And the Donkeys lived happily ever after....




A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An English girl!!!" The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you."
"And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked?
"The one I asked for- the English girl!!"
"Oh, that" she said, "Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if it is a girl!!!"

Moral of the story: "Don't tempt a woman, they are too intelligent"
Posted by jeyashankar
at 12:56 AM
0 comments
JOKes

January to december
sunday to saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed.......
u....
R....
always....
a HEADACHE to me !!!!

When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i'll take u to an eye specialist !!

If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage

During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom made to sit
on the horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.

Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds......
Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a
fool............

I wrote ur name on the sands.............
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air..........................
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart.............
i got a HEART ATTACK

The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too
much, fell
into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really
works!"

LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in
ashes...
But dont worry - we are chain smokers

ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best

True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow

when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?

when i call u;
1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ........pick d phone idiot

The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in
love

SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards






A: Its Braille for "suck here".

Q: Why did God give men penises?
A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: What is an Australian kiss?
A: It is the same as a French kiss, but only down under.

Q: What do you do with 365 used condoms?
A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

Q: Why can't you trust a woman?
A: How can you trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't
die?

Q: Why are hurricanes normally named after women?
A: When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take
your house and car with them.

Q: What's the speed limit of sêx?
A: 68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: Why girls rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A: They don't have balls to scratch.


Smart Boy

A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her
students.

Teacher: What is your problem?

Boy: I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in the
third-grade too.

The teacher took the boy to the principal's office. While the Boy waited
in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the
situation was.

The principal told her that he would give the boy a test and if he failed
to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and
behave. She agreed.

The boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.
Principal: What is 3 x 3? Boy: 9

Principal: What is 6 x 6? Boy: 36

And so it went with every question the principal thought a
third-grade should know. "I think the boy can go to the third-grade" ,
said the principal. The teacher said she had some of her own questions to
ask. The principal and the boy agreed.

Teacher: What is it that a cow has four and I have only two?
Boy: (after a moment) Legs.

Teacher: What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?
Boy: Pockets.

Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious
and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut.

Teacher : What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The principal's eyes openned really wide and before he could stop the
answer, the boy was already answering.
Boy: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes openned really wide and
before he could stop the answer...
Boy: Shake hands.

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.

Boy:Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless, a bit
tense and took one large vodka peg.....
Boy: Wedding Ring.

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good .
Boy: Nose

Teacher: I am a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Boy: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement?
Boy: Firetruck.

Teacher: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' and if u dont get it
u have to use your hand?
Boy: Fork.

Teacher : What is it that all men have one. It is longer for some men than
for others. The pope doesn't use his. Normally a man gives it to his wife
after they're married?
Boy: SURNAME.